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I have been contemplating this post for a while, but it’s official. I am tired of all the crap service I have been getting where there should ideally be actual service. There is a way that I am expected to behave as a customer, which includes accepting End User agreements and generally bending over…


For purposes of clarification, the thief being illuminated is Safaricom.
Dear Safaricom,
We have come a long way, you and me. Since high school, you have been my connection to the outside world, finding friends and keeping in touch and all that other jazz phones are supposed to do. You’ve kept me in contact with everyone, to the best of your ability. Or at least you make it sound like you’re making the effort. But lately it’s not the same.
Fine, I hated on your competition because you pointed out that they were charging per minute instead of per second, and you were all over the country and all that other stuff, like Bei ya Campo (thanks by the way, that was cool). But now you’re not the same, it’s feeling a lot like you’re stealing from me. And not petty theft either, like you’re downright ripping me off. Like you pretty much charging the hell out of making calls across networks, because they’re evil and if they cared they would switch to you. And texts, that are miniscule bits of data that, if charged fairly, should cost no more than 10 cents… Let’s do the math. 3.50 bob for a text that costs you 10 cents to deliver gives you |(3.50/0.10 *100)| = 3500% profit.
Small wonder you make billions of shillings in profit. I have read quite a bit on economics. Yours is an expanding market with one-off costs, so you’re guaranteed to make profits forever. After buying your shares in a fit of stupidity I highly regret, I hoped to get at least some of those profits. let’s just say a cheque for 50 bob (about approximately what I spend on your network per day thanks to your stupid charges) is not even worth the paper it is printed on…
So it’s ok, you sponsor stuff and build your corporate image as the ‘caring network’ or whatever, but what does that matter? That’s not your job. I’m not saying stop kissing babies or whatever, all I’m saying is you could do more to make your customers feel good about being on your network. Like for starters you don’t wait for the competition to lower rates and then you come in and sing and dance and make it look like you’re lowering yours as well while in fact you want me to buy more credit… I’m not stupid…
I’m leaving you. It’s been long and hard, but Zain has done more for me than you ever will. And part of leaving you involves tossing my SIM out of the window after redeeming my gazillion bonga points and okoaing jahazi.
You haven’t been entirely useless though… Through you I have found the joys of data via mobile and all that surfing stuff. But that’s pretty much standard. Though you do tempt me with your will-they-won’t-they stories about 4G trials and such. As far as calls and texts and such are concerned, you just keep that. It’s ok, really.
So goodbye Safaricom. Right now I can safely say The Answer is yes to making life better for a wonderful world.

Your disgruntled customer,
Me

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